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On Facebook  Post rapture looting is place to call first dibs on the good stuff.  Me, I’m calling First Dibs on Castle Loma in Toronto and the Island of Cozumel, but hey, I’ll let people come and visit for free

So the Christian Fundie-Retards have been embolden by the Rightwing Majority Rapture of orgasmic goodness know as Raging PMS and the SeePeeSee.  They want everyone to know that  abortion is wrong, that every egg is special, that every sperm is sacred.   They also figure that good old PMS will now allow they to create a law (which will violate the Charter of Rights, but who gives a frak about that!) that will ban abortion and return women to their rightful place, at home on the kitchen, pump’in out kids.

Personally I blame Harper for this.

Thoses who know me, or at least my writing (the poor quality, terrible speeling , double plus bad gammer and my absolute pride in being so crappy), will want to put their coffees down, swallow any food you’re eating,… Ok?

I try to check my spam folder on The Wingnuterer daily, to make sure no valid comments have been spammified or in case there is quality SPAM.  I usually get the penis enlargement, and back link spam-whores; but this one was really good

Writers Wanted

We need internet writers desperately. After reviewing your website, we decided we want you on our staff. We pay $35-$50 hourly. Our top rated writers are pulling in over $91K a YEAR, writing part-time.

They WANT ME?  Zorpheous? I guess this is about as serious as the brick-string penis enlarge device that other spammer was trying to prompt, eh?  Hey do think any of the Blogging Tories are working this place?  It would explain the quality of crap that they pump out,…

Ok, look guys, I have certain standards to maintain here, admittedly they are low, but working for comment base spamming company the cons people into writing for them with promise of big money actually falls below those standards.

Now, please frak off and go stick your head in a pig.

Now it’s just a question, not a statement of fact.  Our corpulent Overlard Overlord seems to be running into some trouble with our Provincial Municipal  Election Laws in the Toronto Election.   A full audit was order by the three member panel on friday to see if he broke any election laws.   The Toronto Star has the full story here - Audit ordered into Mayor Ford’s campaign financing.

Now here are some of the funniest quotes from Ford’s Lawyer, Tom Barlow

There’s nothing in our view that merits any concern on the part of any elector in terms of how the finances were arranged - Tom Barlow

Shorter Tom Barlow - Your Honour,my client is completely Innocent!  So there is no need for you to look into this, none at all.  That is why he doesn’t want anyone looking into his campaign finances.  There is nothing to see, so you don’t need to look and we expect you to throw this case out,…

I certainly know that Rob Ford has nothing to hide and he’ll ultimately co-operate, and has been cooperating, with whatever process is appropriate under the Municipal Elections Act. - Tom Barlow

Short Tom Barlow - Well if you insist on looking You Honour, my client has nothing to hide, and he will cooperate fully.  After all he has nothing to hide and only guilty people need lawyers,… errr what was the question again?

It looks like it’s just a throughput of cash - Tom Barlow argued

Shorter Tom Barlow - Doug Ford Holdings was just a supplier to the campaign, and the interest free, 365 day terms account is absolutely standard fair.

“A throughput of cash”, is this like an In and Out?   These conservatards seem really keen on these fancy foot work, soft shoe shuffle of election financing, eh?

Now what could Jabba the Ford receive if found guilty of breaking the Provincial Municipal Elections Act by some Liberal appointed judge, with a political leftwing adgenda to push?  Well Jabba the Ford could  be fined, which I’m sure Doug Ford Holdings could then find a way to expense that, or Jabba the Ford could be the first Mayor of Toronto’s history to Kicked Out of Office for Election Campaign Finance Corruption.

Lets keep a happy thought in our heads, m’kay?

So good old Tony Clement, our Industry Ministry, is going to invite the Oily Bigwigs to Ottawa to explain to Canadians why oil/gas prices go up and go down,… but more up than down.  I hear they will serve tea and crumpets.

Now no where does it say Tony is going to stop the Oily Bigwigs from fraking us up the arse, no, no, no,… This will be a lecture to us poor stupid Canadians as to why big oil is a poor victim of the free market and they are unable to stop making such huge profits.

To put it simply, Oily Bigwigs will come to Ottawa to lie to the liars in power, who will then turn to us and lie that there is nothing they can do.  So please just bend over and take it up the arse and stop complaining,…

To close the meeting, the Big Oily Bigwigs will further explain why their highly profitable business needs Canadian Tax payers to give them free money and that lowering their Corporate Tax Rate is really in our best interests.  Oh and the pipeline spill the other week,… think nothing of it,… no really, stop thinking about it.

Personally I Blame Harper For This

Take a big fraking pot

Add,  sweat peppers, portobello mushrooms, onions, potatoes, carrots, tomatoes, celery, garlic, olive oil, black pepper corns, some sea salts and my frozen veggie straps,… 20 cups of water, and boil boil boil

The first photo is everything all in, then after boiling for about 90 minutes and the last photo is the finished product

Remember when oil prices crashed last week and Harper’s friends and possible financial supporters (we don’t really know who they are because they and Harper refuse to tell us,… so much open and transparent government, eh?) dropped the gas prices by same percentage,… oh ya, that’s right Harper’s friends and possible financial supporters only gave us about 50% of the savings.  What did Harper say about the Oil companies fraking over the little guy, Joe and Sally Sixpack and Canadian’s whom he is suppose to represent?

CUE THE  CRICKETS

That’s right, Harper didn’t say poopy about it, so I guess he supports it.

And now today we learn that Harper’s friends and possible financial supporters are hiking the price of gas by 6.5 cents, and Harper and his cronies are fine with this constant arse fraking the Oil companies are giving Canadians.  The Oil companies still get billions in tax breaks and they still get their new Harper Government Corporate Tax Cuts.  Why? because those fat cat Oil Frakers need to buy at least one platinum arse scratcher a day,… I mean you can’t expect those Corporate frakheads to used a soiled arse scratcher more than once.

So how are you paying for your Corporate Tax Cuts and Oil Company Tax Breaks?

Personally I Blame Harper For This

I’ll get to blame Harper for everything on Monday, this weekend I am continueing to move into my new place and I have to meet my wife to go over a few things,…

Yes there is a tale to tell, it is long, complicated, sad and happy

Enjoy your weekend people, seems Harper managed not to frakup the weather for a change, hey even a broken clock is right once and a while

Zorph

Crude oil futures fell $9.62 (U.S.), or 8.6 percent, to $99.82 a barrel.  At the same time pump prices only drop 3.3 cents per litre, which represents only a 2.5 percent drop.  Harper continues to give Oil companies in Canada Canadian Taxpayer money while simultaneously cutting their corporate tax rates.  I guess Harper feels that Canadian families and small business deserve to be fraked up the arse because his friends and financial backers and backroom boys need another solid gold butt scratcher.

Personally I Blame Harper For This

Oh,gold futures fell $33.90, or 2.2 per cent, to settle at $1,481.40 an ounce, silver prices crashed and the Canadian Stock markets crashed and the Canadian Dollar dropped,….

Personally I Blame Harper For This Too

Happy Cinco de Mayo, and I am not in the funnest place in the world Cozumel, Mexico.  I should be scuba diving, I should be drinking daiquirí de fresa at Playa Del Palancar or kicking back at Bob Marley’s on the east-side.  But no, I’m here in Canada where we are experiencing the coldest spring since 1991.

Personally I Blame Harper